👓 Recognizing the Challenges of Regular Eating in Menopause
When we approach a new way of doing things without acknowledging the difficulties, we can get caught up in romanticizing the future.
Kind of like buying a new planner with that new planner energy, but without a strategy to implement its use.
In today's episode, we're sitting in the messy middle of the challenges around change, including the realities of a neurodivergent perimenopause.
Tune in to hear:🍦 How to lean into softness over extremes when approaching nutrition
🍝 A check-in around common Regular Eating concepts
🍇 Reasons and Obstacles to Regular Eating in Perimenopause -
Neurodivergent Eating Differences
Hormonal & Physiological Changes
Emotions
Environmental & Social Pressures
Habits & Patterns
🍝 Download the FREE Regular Eating Guide📮 Sign up for the Departure Menopause EMAIL LIST for Future Episode & Updates-
[00:00:00]
Melinda Staehling
Welcome to Departure Menopause, a podcast about weight inclusive and neurodivergent affirming care in the menopause transition. I'm your host, Melinda Staehling. On this podcast we discuss making compassionate health and positive body image change through practical steps and gentle care. To stay connected and go deeper, head to the show notes to subscribe and download the regular eating guide.
Hello and welcome, or welcome back to Departure Menopause, where we depart from the usual into a more weight-inclusive and neurodivergent-affirming menopause transition. If we haven't met yet, I'm your host here at Departure, Melinda Staehling, certified nutrition specialist, your coach, and perimenopausal copilot.
If you're listening in May, 2025, we're departing into our regular eating exploration this month.
We're looking at eating regularly throughout the day and what that means to us in midlife and throughout our menopause experience. This is part two of three of our series on regular eating, and this week it's all about concepts, education, and then recognizing some of the reasons and obstacles that we face when we're trying to eat throughout the day.
The world does not make it easy,
So we're looking at regular eating through a framework that I've created, and you can find that in the Regular Eating Guide. If you find yourself in a cycle of daytime restriction and then you're feeling challenged with evening eating, this is a free training for you. The guide includes a list of prompts to help you dig deeper into why your eating might be irregular, some assessments to work through, and some tools to gently assist you in planning your specific yet flexible eating structure going forward.
The link to the guide is in the show notes at departuremenopause.club/regular-eating-guide. If you've already downloaded the guide, I've made a few updates to this week's sections, and you can either go back in into that original link and copy the new version into your Notion Workspace, or I'll send out the link in this week's newsletter.
The guide is in Notion, so as long as you're going back to that link, you'll get the newest version. So last week we talked about assessment and beginnings and locating ourselves in this regular eating space, and thank you to those that reached out and enjoyed the markings of the beginnings with some ritual or a tarot card pull.
[00:03:00]
I'm glad to hear that resonated with some of you. I also want to give my disclaimer that we do talk about eating disorders, disordered eating and body image on the show, and this week that comes up in the second part today where I'm talking about some of the reasons and potentially obstacles, and I'm naming some pretty specific disordered eating behaviors.
So listen to yourselves and check in with your body and listen to the show at the right time for you. What I want to say here at the beginning this week, this part where we're thinking about concepts and education around regular eating and then also recognizing reasons and obstacles.
While there's education around regular eating, the field of study is called chrono nutrition, where we're looking at daytime and nighttime eating, maybe also sleep wake cycles. I don't think we need to get too far into the weeds here. We are not biohacking, regular eating.
We're not coming up with a perfectly perfect intermittent fasting schedule for regular eating.
So I would suggest that we steer away from ideas of rigidity and just feel out what I'm going to talk about with this concept and education piece and see what's right for you.
After we look at some of the concepts, then we're gonna go into reasons and obstacles to regular eating in the menopause transition. Especially in perimenopause where hormones are all over the map and with neurodivergence where we can have eating differences from the usual, let's call it neurotypical eating styles or the usual expectations around eating.
And I think that piece, the reasons piece is important to recognize so we can actually look at what's getting in the way of us eating regularly and what pieces of that we might also need to keep. , , so with the concepts part, here's some thoughts I have that might feel relevant to where we're eventually heading, which is choosing a structure for eating throughout the day.
Part of this is fueling your body and brain. We know that food is so many things to us, it's cultural, it's experience. It can be emotional, it can be all of these things, and there's a physiological component to food.
So we need carbs, fats, proteins. We need fiber. We need the energy from food throughout the day. We get our nutrients from food. And with eating throughout the day and there you have opportunities to supply your overall nutrition pattern. So without diving into all of nutrition physiology, I think that we can probably agree that one piece of this is providing fuel for our bodies and brains.
The next point that is more on the biology side is stable blood sugar, and I think that this can mean different things to different people.
[00:06:00]
Some of us are more affected by blood sugar swings than others. Some of us find ourselves getting shaky, feeling that kind of hangry spacey feeling with lower blood sugar. Others of us might have higher blood sugar overall and be more in the diabetic range and be taking care of a chronic health condition. So there's a blood sugar connection into how we're feeling, maybe even mental health wise.
Stable blood sugar is something to think about there, and again, it's important to some of us, maybe a bit more than others,
so take into consideration and see if that's a fit for you. Another point I want to make is staying in touch with hunger cues. I think this falls into a couple categories.
On the one side, some of us might feel hunger cues more intensely, or maybe we're getting back in touch with hunger cues and noticing hunger and fullness. Maybe even after a period of time where we weren't paying so close of attention to hunger and fullness, and then for others. Hunger cues might be more unclear.
We've talked in previous episodes about differences in neurodivergent eating, and we can have differences in how we experience hunger cues, and that can be on a real spectrum. , So whether you're a person that is recently re-engaging with feeling hunger and fullness.
Or you're somebody where you know that this is not as much of a part of your experience. I think that's something to recognize in this piece of regular eating.
We don't always experience hunger as that gnaw pain in our stomach. There might be other ways that we have a perception of hunger, for some of us that might be a little more nebulous with medication, especially stimulant medication, or it might be because that's just our nature.
If hunger cues are different or they're more challenging to access in this regular eating piece. This might mean getting more on a schedule. Sometimes we call that mechanical eating, either using the clock or using reminders or other cues that can make eating more accessible as we continue to practice this rhythm.
Sometimes they use the phrase rhythmic eating instead of regular eating. If that resonates with you,
Another concept that I hear a lot around regular eating is that this can promote more gentleness and softness throughout the day over maybe eating to extremes. If you're one of the people that feels more discomfort later in the day with your eating, either because of emotions or emotional discomfort, or even physically regular eating throughout the day can help promote this sort of stability and gentleness over having those extreme swings.
[00:09:00]
Along the same lines, I think predictability of regular eating can create a sense of safety for a lot of us. I think that exists both in our bodies and our brains when life things inevitably go a different way, like a night of bad sleep or a stressful week, we have this pattern in place and we can lean into what feels more of a support system.
And the last idea I wanted to share with you today is that in our current world, giving ourselves this care and this time of nourishment throughout the day, this can be a very grounding experience when we're in the midst of so much chaos us.
So out of those ideas around regular eating, I'm wondering what is feeling the most important to you?
Okay, so now we're going to look into some of the reasons and potentially obstacles why food might feel different for you.
Some of these are more about perimenopause and the menopause transition, and others are more around neurodivergence. I'm specifically thinking about ADHD and autistic traits of eating.
This is part of our framework where we're acknowledging obstacles and some of these not so much obstacles we're trying to overcome, but reasons why eating is hard.
Some of these will speak to you a little bit more than others, but we are in a time of our lives if we're in the menopause transition and also experiencing neurodivergent food differences, where I think that this can be really difficult. For example, I'm going to bring up sleep.
Sleep is a common driver of different eating patterns the next day. There's not too many universals out there when we think about eating, but I'm sure almost all of us have had this happen where you have a night of the shittiest sleep and then you eat differently the next day.
If we have some gentle structure in place, maybe that can help support us the next day, like we already have a little support built into the process. I also want to say again while I go along, as I did last week with assessment, this isn't a good or bad or morality list.
Looking at some of these reasons, they might be more factual.
If you eat for stimulation or you stim with food, maybe that's something that you do. And not everything on this list needs to be changed or fixed.
So that's my ask that you come to this list through a place of curiosity and not of judgment.
I am gonna go through the list. I was going to only choose a couple from each of my categories here, but you know what, I'm just gonna read the whole list. It's written out in the guide and the categories are spelled out there if you'd like to look at over.
And this is my second reminder disclaimer. Some of these are more towards the end of what we'll call the disordered eating spectrum.
[00:12:00
Here are the neurodivergent and cognitive processing factors. I have challenges with time processing that can make planning, prepping, and eating more difficult. I have an out of sight, out of mind relationship with eating when I'm involved in or distracted by other daytime tasks. I eat for stimulation or stem with food and might want to eat at different times.
I experienced demand avoidance or PDA or persistent drive for autonomy that can make eating feel like yet another half to do. I struggle with executive function, which makes meal planning, grocery shopping, or following through on eating tasks, overwhelming. I hyperfocus on tasks and lose track of time for getting to eat until I feel unwell.
Transitions like moving from work to lunch are challenging for me, so I delay or skip meals. I mask my needs during the day to appear put together, and eating is one of the needs that gets pushed aside. Now here are some of the hormonal and physiological changes.
I'm on the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause, and the increased number of cycles in early perimenopause might lead to more disruptive hormonal and eating patterns.
I have differences in hunger and fullness cues. Some people have more or less pronounced hunger and fullness cues.
My sleep sucks. I'm speaking for myself here. Sleep disturbance is highly correlated with perimenopause, menopause, and neurodivergence, and lack of sleep is a driver of dysregulated eating. I experience gastrointestinal changes like bloating, indigestion, which make eating feel uncomfortable or unpredictable.
Hot flashes or temperature dysregulation can make me avoid certain foods or eating altogether. My appetite fluctuates wildly from day to day, making it hard to establish routines and medications either for mood. ADHD, pain or hormone replacement can affect my appetite or digestion. Here's some emotional and psychological influences.
I believe that delaying eating will improve my body shape or size. Body changes of perimenopause and menopause lead me to compensation behaviors around eating my body image, including body image, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors like body checking can impact my food and eating
Comments, social media and societal expectations around what eating should look like. Disrupt my eating patterns. I experience anxiety, depression, or burnout, which dulls my motivation to prepare or eat food. Eating has become associated with guilt or shame, especially during body changes in perimenopause.
[00:15:00]
I can restrict food as a coping function when I feel bad or lazy. I'm grieving a loss of identity tied to body productivity or youth, and this affects how I treat my body and feed it some environmental, social, and cultural pressures. I'm in the sandwich generation breakfast and lunch.
Skipping happen often due to the pressures of work and caretaking for both kids and aging parents and family. I engage in intermittent fasting. For a lot of us, this is seen as a cultural norm, yet it can leave many people with too short of an eating window.
I've experienced food insecurity either in the past or present. My environment isn't sensory friendly. Certain smells, lights, or sounds around eating can be overstimulating. I'm the default meal provider for others, and my own eating gets deprioritized. I'm managing chronic fatigue or pain and making food and prep and cleanup feel impossible.
Social expectations around productivity or appearance lead me to ignore body cues in favor of being disciplined. And finally, here's some behavioral and habit patterns around eating. I have food, boredom.
I utilize caffeine or stimulants throughout the day, and that suppresses my appetite. I eat very late at night because it's the only quiet time I feel in control or calm.
And I skip meals unintentionally or through restriction and then binge later, which creates a cycle that's hard to break.
So that's the list. And now that it's out there, I'm curious what you might add,what's either getting in the way of eating, being regular,
Or some of those are supports that we're going to keep.
That's what I have for you today. We have a couple of mindset shifts or concepts around regular eating. Maybe you connect to that food as. So that's what I have for you today. We talked about some of the education and concept pieces around regular eating, maybe it's blood sugar, maybe it's hunger and fullness cues that you're connecting with.
I hope this episode leaves you feeling that you have a bit more of the overall view around concepts around regular eating, and we're also able to anticipate obstacles and ground into some of the reasons of eating differently that might come up for you when you see them.
[00:18:00]
So next time we're going to wrap our series with part three, which is putting this all into practice and creating a structure for ourselves. We're going to get creative and imagine some new ways that eating might exist for us.
Thanks for being here today. Until next time, keep departing from the usual in menopause with Care and curiosity. Our podcast Art is by Barb Burwell.
Thanks so much for listening. You can find show notes and links in our episodes and on departuremenopause.club. If you enjoyed this show, I'd appreciate it if you shared it with a friend. Be sure to subscribe and download the Regular Eating Guide. I'll see you next time on Departure Menopause.